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Hamlet and Xanth

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I'm sitting here in front of my PC remembering Saturday, sort of a usual Saturday with a bit of a twist. At 8:30 Heather got up out of bed (I can't understand people who can get up early on a Saturday!) and started pottering about in the kitchen. I closed my eyes with a view to another hour or two's kip when I heard Kathump kathump, kathump kathump, KATHUMP KATHUMP, WALLOP!!

Two great huge heavy weights thumped onto the bed almost breaking my spine and rupturing my innards (or worse, turning my innards into outards). Before I was able to open my eyes, my face was being smeared by what felt like a wet, warm sponge, no, two wet warm sponges, and my body felt like it was pinned to the bed by a tree trunk. Muffled I heard a merry voice say "Good morning, sleepyhead. Get up. You got a swimming pool to dig today."

Trying to sit up but failing, I said "Mmmglurph glarp." Bad mistake. As soon as my lips were parted, Hamlets slimy tongue slipped into my mouth and halfway down my throat. I honestly wouldn't mind, except I know what he sometimes finds and eats! My arms were pinned down by the weight of both the dogs on the bed spread, and my shoulders were held down by Hamlets paws. Xanth was lying across my hips, and I was completely pinned down. Hamlet had covered my face with drool, and cleaned out my nose and mouth with his tongue, and worse, I was getting a hard on that was becoming painful, as it was underneath the bedspread held down by Xanth.


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This story contains sexually explicit material between humans and animals. If this sort of interaction offends you stop reading now. It (unfortunately) is a work of fiction, any similarities to persons or animals, living or dead is purely coincidental.

Chrissy sat on the couch in a slouching position. Her long legs formed an "M" shape. Starting at her left leg, her foot on the edge of the sofa, the smooth curve of her calf angled up at a 45 degree angle to meet her firm thighs falling away at a 45 degree angle toward her crotch. Her right leg rose, bent at the knee and fell in harmony to her left. A perfect "M" shape with a surprise in the middle. Her normally flat belly showed little horizontal rolls of skin due to the slouching position she was forced to take in order to place her pussy on the edge of the sofa. It was a sectional sofa and she sat in the corner piece. She placed her hands on her knees and pulled back slightly. The tension caused the lips of her pussy to part slightly.

She shaved her box every time she shaved her legs, twice a week, more often if she went out on the town on the weekend. There was just a trimmed patch of blonde pubes residing above the slit that was her pussy. Lounged back with legs spread wide her outer lips came apart just a few centimeters, enough to reveal her inner lips that would normally have been secreted from view inside her labia. A faint trickle of lubrication seeped out from between those lips and snaked down to rest on her butt hole.

Early Morning

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Michele woke up to the insistent licking of her living alarm clock. She opened her eyes and looked up to Bastion, her Great Dane. He had a mostly white body with blotches and spots of black all over his body, and had, as she often times stared at, huge testicles. He was a nice dog, always willing to please, just as long as you fed and treated him well. This morning though, he was hell sent. Michele rolled over and moaned out loudly, "Go lay down."

Bastion gave a great bark that scared her right out of sleep and she rolled over to throw a pillow at him. Bastion hopped away just as the pillow was flung, and the pillow crashed down onto her dresser, knocking everything off it. Michele growled and sat up blinking to work the sleepiness out of them. Bastion quickly exited the room and she could hear him loudly walking down the stairs. She looked to the window and saw that it was quite early, and once she looked at the clock she fell back into her bed and tried to doze off. It was only five o'clock.

Moments later Bastion came running up the stairs again, and this time he came into the room with a loud bark that rattled her awake again. She wondered what was so important that he had to wake her up this early in the morning. She had taken him out before she went to bed, and he usually didn't have to go until six-thirty. She groggily sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Bastion came over and barked again; this time Michele caught him with a pillow, and he retreated. Michele stood up and wandered into the bathroom, turned on the lights and shut the door behind her. She undressed and looked around for her spare change of clothes, but they weren't in the bathroom where she thought she left them. After a sigh Michele opened the door and walked out to rummage around through the clothes on the floor. Bastion came over and started to sniff at her, but Michele batted at him and he retreated. She found some torn jeans and a white t-shirt with the hard rock café logo on it and went back into the bathroom. She dressed up and brushed out her hair, and then washed her face. The cold water woke her up even more, and it helped. She looked out the bathroom window and saw that dew covered the lawn behind her house, and a mist lay about the ground like a veil. A few early morning birds were flitting about catching insects or chirping. She brushed her teeth and went back out into her room. Bastion was nowhere to be seen, but she could hear him downstairs clopping around. Michele slowly went down the stairs and found Bastion at the door, looking all ready to go out. Michele shook her head and said, "So this is why you decided to get me up so early?"

My Friend Brutus

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The private time I had every afternoon was my favorite time of the day, my time to just do whatever I wanted to do in a house all alone. Most of my private time was spent getting myself off. I had discovered that playing with my ass gave me very great pleasure. Over the years, I had tried various things including fingers and small rounded objects whch were around the house and were never intended for such purposes but worked well. My 2 favorite items had become the top of my bedpost, which was a small wooden ball, and a bell handle. They both had disadvantages though. The bedpost was not removable (and I liked to masturbate better if sitting or lying down) and the bell handle was too thin and if I moved quickly the bell rang.

I also had access to a small workshop which my Dad used for projects. I had made a few things there, but the only one which I really liked was a piece of rounded wood about 9 inches long. It was far too large to fit in my ass, but with a saw, a sander, and patience I had managed to carve 3 progressively bigger balls on the end and I enjoyed these a lot. My only problem was where to keep this. I can see an incredible abount of embarassment for a girl if her family were to find her dildo, but to be a male and to have your homemade anal dildo found... well, let's not even go there. After one particularly horrifying day where my Mother actually saw it, but fortunately for me didn't realize what it was, I decided it wasn't worth the risk and it became firewood.


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I suppose that it was pure chance, a lucky throw of the dice, and a case of right time, right place, that I met Lisa. The circumstances were hardly usual; in fact shock was possibly the first reaction she evinced from me. Definitely shock. Intrigue and wanton lust also added to the brew of emotions that she caused. The experience of her though, was a life-changing event, one that would never ever diminish in the memory and would alter my perspective on life from that time onwards.

I had been called by a man who's name reminded me of an out-board motor. Popolopoulous or something similar, merely trying to pronounce his name sounded like a four-horse-powered engine on the back of a little boat. He wanted a full survey of the outside walls of his house in Maida Vale. A few days later, armed with digital camera and measuring beam, I was "on site", taking notes and sketching the layout of the building. He had an idea he wanted to build a carport on the side with provision for a vine to grow over a steel trellis.

An electronic controlled gate separated them from the busy road that ran through to Paddington Green. From the street level, it was not possible to see the property, completely hidden by the dense growth of honeysuckle that draped over the top of the slatted wooden fence over a raised brick wall. Once inside the front garden and with the gate shut, London and its snaking and pollutant traffic were shut out completely. Not even the roar of diesel engines or the whine of small motorbikes penetrated over or through the barrier of brick, timber and foliage.